Is AND the new OR
Warning: This blogpost doesn't have much to do with hiring or managing a domestic helper. Still, if it stimulates you to think about how you might be BOTH a firm AND kind employer, then maybe we can allow it to stay on the website a bit longer.
I read an article today entitled "And" is the new "Or". How often do we err by thinking "Or" instead of "And"? OR is "AND" a cop-out because we don't want to make a hard decision? Can I be a good husband AND a good business leader? OR is it one OR the other? Does a Filipino mom have to decide between feeding her kids (by working overseas) OR nurturing her kids (by staying home)? Does a single mom have to decide between educating herself OR educating her child? Does it have to be OR? OR can it be AND?
Ione and I had a chat with one of our Arrow ladies who is planning on going home to take care of her son. She would like to go back to school, but doesn't know if she can afford to study AND pay for her son to study too. Another former Arrow lady skyped us yesterday and told us that she was going back to school herself, but didn't have enough money to keep both her AND her young daughter in school. Maybe they are right and they can't do both, but maybe .. just maybe the can.
With one of the ladies we discussed getting her child signed up as a Compassion kid and getting a sponsor for her schooling. She could even home school if she wanted to, since she is studying to be a teacher. With the other friend, we talked about homeschooling and looked online to learn about homeschooling in the Philippines. Turns out it is alive AND well; high quality AND affordable AND sanctioned by the Education Department in the Philippines. So maybe, just maybe, mom could home school her child in the morning AND go to school herself in the afternoon or evening. It would require discipline AND a supportive home school network AND family, but why not?
Of course, we can always stay stuck in the world of OR where you can't do live your dreams AND fulfill your responsibilities, where it's either you OR them, and sometimes it necessary AND noble to sacrifice oneself for others. But if we begin to think AND instead of OR, maybe we will find ways, new ways to move toward our dreams AND fulfill our responsibilities to those who depend on us. What do think? Leave a comment.