Once a helper gives you “30 days notice” she will NEVER take it back.

The Concept: Dangal (Dignity)

Arrow has been in business for around 20 years and in that time, I have tried many times to persuade a helper to give her employer another chance. “Just take back your 30 days notice! Give them another chance!” Guess how many times I have succeeded in changing their minds - ZERO, NADA, NEVER. I recently learned the reason - it’s called “Dangal” - DIGNITY. Here’s what I learned.

In Filipino culture, a person can endure hard work and long hours, but they cannot endure the loss of their Dangal (dignity). If a helper feels she has been shouted at or treated as "less than human" (Ibang-tao), her dignity is wounded. For her, taking back the notice is "begging," which is the ultimate loss of face. She feels she has already been treated as “less than human”. The resignation effectively reclaims some of her personhood, humanity. By the time she gives her notice she has passed the point of no return. Once the decision is made, it is a matter of self-preservation of the soul.

Thought Question: Is your helper a "member of the household" (Hindi-ibang-tao) or just a "worker" (Ibang-tao)? The more she feels like the latter, the faster she will leave when things get tough.

Action Point: Use the 90/10 Rule. Ensure 90% of your interactions are neutral or positive. If 90% of your talk is "correction," she will feel her Dangal is under constant attack.