Is your helper forgetful? Give her a nap

If your helper is forgetful try giving her a 15 minute nap after lunch? Does her performance slowly degrade during the day? A 15 minute nap may be the key to rebooting her brain and upping her performance.

Here is a link to a fascinating article on napping and the brain. It is backed by copious research, but written in a style that even I can understand. If your helper is absent-minded, forgetful or seems to be underperforming, why not give her a nap? What do you have to lose? We're talking about 15 min.s to 1/2 hour max. Here's the link:

THE SCIENCE BEHIND WHAT NAPS DO FOR YOUR BRAIN--AND WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE ONE TODAY

Is AND the new OR

Warning: This blogpost doesn't have much to do with hiring or managing a domestic helper.  Still, if it stimulates you to think about how you might be BOTH a firm AND kind employer, then maybe we can allow it to stay on the website a bit longer.  

I read an article today  entitled "And" is the new "Or". How often do we err by thinking "Or" instead of "And"?   OR is "AND" a cop-out because we don't want to make a hard decision? Can I be a good husband AND a good business leader? OR is it one OR the other? Does a Filipino mom have to decide between feeding her kids (by working overseas) OR nurturing her kids (by staying home)? Does a single mom have to decide between educating herself OR educating her child? Does it have to be OR?  OR can it be AND?

 Ione and I had a chat with one of our Arrow ladies who is planning on going home to take care of her son. She would like to go back to school, but doesn't know if she can afford to study AND pay for her son to study too.  Another former Arrow lady skyped us yesterday and told us that she was going back to school herself, but didn't have enough money to keep both her AND her young daughter in school.  Maybe they are right and they can't do both, but maybe .. just maybe the can. 

With one of the ladies we discussed getting her child signed up as a Compassion kid and getting a sponsor for her schooling. She could even home school if she wanted to, since she is studying to be a teacher. With the other friend, we talked about homeschooling and looked online to learn about homeschooling in the Philippines. Turns out it is alive AND well; high quality AND affordable AND sanctioned by the Education Department in the Philippines.  So maybe, just maybe, mom could home school her child in the morning AND go to school herself in the afternoon or evening. It would require discipline AND a supportive home school network AND family, but why not? 

Of course, we can always stay stuck in the world of OR where you can't do live your dreams AND fulfill your responsibilities, where it's either you OR them, and sometimes it necessary AND noble to sacrifice oneself for others. But if we begin to think AND instead of OR, maybe we will find ways, new ways to move toward our dreams AND fulfill our responsibilities to those who depend on us. What do think? Leave a comment.

Immigration Department clamps down on job switchers

Immigration is refusing work visa applications for "job switchers". Some helpers come to HK and change employers for little or no good reason. The Immigration department is going to stop issuing visas to these ladies. This is good news for both HK employers and Filipino workers. Why?

The cost of hiring a helper has risen dramatically since the Philippine government decided not to allow agencies to collect placement fees from the helpers. The cost of hiring a helper is creeping up close to $10,000 when you add everything together. HK families are willing to pay that amount, but NOT every other month. Helpers can quit with just 30 days notice and without any legitimate reason. The contract is basically "no fault". You want to break the contract, you can break the contract without any penalty. That leaves HK families with no protection. They spend $10,000 to hire a helper and then she quits because she gets reprimanded and is angry. Then the employer has to spend another $10,000 for another helper, without any assurance that she will finish the contract. 

Because there is no penalty for quitting, HK people are worried about spending so much money to hire someone who can quit because she is homesick or suffering culture shock. The financial risk of hiring a helper is just TOO HIGH. The action by the Immigration Department will lower the amount of ladies quitting for no good reason, and thus will lower the risk for HK employers. This should help stabilize the market and, as a result, in the long term, more people will be willing to hire Filipinos, resulting in more jobs and more money to remit back to the Philippines. .

Below is the SCMP article:

"The Immigration Department is refusing work visa applications from foreign workers deemed to have cut short their contracts too often or without legitimate reasons. 

The Immigration Department is refusing work visa applications from foreign workers deemed to have cut short their contracts too often or without legitimate reasons.

The department said this in a statement last night amid public concern that some foreign domestic helpers were switching jobs to earn severance pay by terminating their contracts before the two-year work period was up.

The department said it had refused 45 applicants who were suspected to be involved in such abuse in the past two months.

It also said employers who were found to have exploited their domestic workers would also be denied applications in the future to employ foreign domestic workers.

Joseph Law, chairman of the Hong Kong Employers of Domestic Helpers Association, said some domestic workers were known to have colluded with employment agencies to get greater benefits by prompting their employers to terminate their contracts soon after they arrive.

He said the department should spell out how many changes of employer by a worker would constitute an abuse of the system.

"Once any foreign domestic helper is found to have changed jobs without a legitimate reason, the Immigration Department should consider, say, stopping processing her employment visa applications for six months," Law said.

So many good helpers

We have over 60 (SIXTY!) applicants on our website, and the great majority of them have overseas experience. It's a great time to hire a skillful, loving, trustworthy Arrow helper.

主妇控虐佣不认罪

Saw the following article in the Eastern Post. If you don't read Chinese, try google translate to get an idea of the content. It's about an employer charged with abusing her helper. 

（八打灵再也16日讯）一名家庭主妇今日在八打灵再也地庭，否认在上周致伤及虐打其印尼女佣。

被告蔡英凤（译音，40岁）被控虐待一名30岁的印尼女佣玛丽亚，把该名女佣当奴隶一样对待，並强迫女佣工作及暴力对待她。

她是在2007年《反人口贩卖与外劳走私法令》第13条文下被提控。一旦罪成，她將面对最多20年监禁或罚款。

蔡英凤也被控蓄意致伤其女佣，包括殴打及泼女佣热水，造成其女佣面部、头部、胸部、耳朵、背部及腿部受伤及灼伤。

以上罪行，蔡英凤將面对刑事法典第326条文的提控，一旦罪城刑罚为最高监禁20年、鞭笞及罚款。

2万5保外候审

她被控于本月8日，在梳邦贝斯达里诺瓦U5/84路一间民宅，犯下上述两项罪行。

法官罗兹娜允许她以2万5000令吉，加上一名担保人担保下，保释就审。惟，她必须交出国际护照，以及每个月到临近警局报到，并不准骚扰受害者及本案证人。

法庭也裁决此案于9月2日，重新过堂。此案的副检查司是拉雅查凡，被告代表律师是吴律师（TH Goh），罗沙阿兹敏律师也代表印尼大使馆，出席聆听此案。

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Architecture, interior design, and more ∨

Hire residential landscape architects to help with all aspects of landscape design, from selecting or designing outdoor furniture, to siting a detached garage or pergola.
For small bathroom ideas, browse photos of space-saving bathroom cabinets and clever hidden medicine cabinets.

Are you a slave driver? a taskmaster?

I am a workaholic. When I'm not working, I'm thinking about work, compiling long "to do" lists, and feeling guilty. If I lay down to rest, I will often awake with a start, remembering something I haven't finished, then jump up to complete it.  The reason I am workaholic is because there is a "slave driver" inside my head, that tells me that no matter how hard I work, how well I do, no matter how much I try - it is never enough - never good enough; and as a result I am never good enough, never OK. 

Many Hong Kong people, like me, are workaholics - always striving to improve and be perfect, and because of the slave masters in our heads, we cannot just rest and enjoy life. We also cannot tolerate others who don't share our compulsive drivenness. We resent it when others rest, laugh, and enjoy life a bit - especially if it is on our time (during work hours).   If our staff takes a break during the workday to read their facebook, or Yahoo! news, we feel like they are cheating us. 

We often confuse being a slave driver or taskmaster with getting the most out of people. We think of people as sponges from whom we need to squeeze the last drop of water. In reality, the people who get the most out of  others are those who develop people, train people, encourage them and help them to reach their unique potential.  

Are you a slave driver, a taskmaster?  Here's a few questions to help you decide.

1. Do you watch your helper on an IP cam and text her or call her with an assignment if she sits down for a few minutes? (Y/N)
2. Does your helper work a total of more than 12 hours a day, not including rest times?  (Y/N)
3. Does your helper's daily schedule include meal and break times?  * (Y/N)
4. Does your helper have to hide in the bathroom to check her phone messages or email? (Y/N) 
5. If you see your helper laughing and having fun with your children, do you feel resentful or give her another task to do? (Y/N) 
6. Do you often interrupt your helper when she is working to give her another assigned task? (Y/N) 
7. Does you helper have enough time to relax for 5-15 minutes after her meals, so she can read a book, an email, a text message, etc. ?* (Y/N)
8. Does your helper have a regular coffee break?* (Y/N) 

For questions 1,2,4,5,6 - give yourself 1 point for each yes answer, 0 for each no answer.  On questions 3,7,8 give yourself 1 point for each "no" answer, and 0 for each "yes" answer.  If your total score is 5 or more, you might be a taskmaster, a slave driver. What can you do about it? Slow down - treat yourself to some down time. Relax, get a massage, buy a paper and a Starbuck's coffee and just sit for an hour. Re-align your own heart first. Stop being so hard on yourself - then begin to change the way you treat your employees. Lighten up.

Employers slam salary hike for maids

Saw the following article on the Hong Kong Standard website:

by Nectar Gan 

Monday, June 24, 2013

Employers of foreign domestic helpers will protest outside Tamar government headquarters on Sunday to urge the government not to increase the salaries of workers.

Several helpers' groups have called for a pay rise from the current HK$3,920 a month to between HK$4,200 and HK$4,500.

The Support Group for HK Employers with Foreign Domestic Helper, comprising about 8,000 members, said it strongly opposes the hike.

It accuses the Hong Kong Employers of Overseas Domestic Helpers Association and the Labour Department of ignoring less well-off households.

Joan Tsui Hiu-tung, convener of the support group, complained that when the department conducts evaluations regarding helpers' salaries, employers who are housewives and dual working parents are never consulted.

She said the majority of employers are under economic pressure and face high inflation costs.

As contract terminations become more common these days, employers have to pay extra agency fees in the rehiring process.

Taking airfares, board and lodging expenses, agency fees and salaries into account, employers need to spend more than HK$10,000 on a foreign domestic helper per month.

"Under no circumstances can it [the salary] be more than HK$4,000," Tsui said.

Employers' association chairman Joseph Law Kwan-din said members have always reflected the views of those hiring helpers when it comes to salary increases.

However Law said it is hard not to increase the salaries of foreign domestic helpers at all.

Pay rises normally follow the inflation rate and market trends.

Teresa Liu Tsui-lan, managing director of the Technic Employment Service Centre, said a salary increase to HK$4,200 a month for the helpers would be reasonable.

Hong Kong government asks Manila for relief for employers

from the SCMP:  Johnny Tam  johnny.tam@scmp.com

Hong Kong is urging Manila to act to minimise the burden on employers of domestic helpers after the Philippines banned job agencies from collecting placement fees from maids, forcing bosses to pay extra.

The Legislative Council panel on manpower will discuss a paper on the issue on Tuesday.

The document was prepared by the Labour and Welfare Bureau, Labour Department and Commerce and Economic Development Bureau.

It does not detail what measures, if any, have been proposed to Manila.

Local recruitment agencies said they had not heard anything about it.

"We welcome any measures to ease employers' burden," said Teresa Liu Tsui-lan, managing director of one of the biggest agencies, Technic Employment Service Centre. "But we do not know whether the governments have been talking through it."

Employers are having to dig deeper to employ a Filipino - or else hire a maid of a different nationality - after Manila banned Filipino agencies from charging maids a placement fee of a month's salary plus airfare.

Sunlight Employment Agency regional manager Samantha Chan Chui-chu said the placement fees it charged employers had risen from HK$4,980 to HK$6,980 since April, when the ban came in. Bangladeshi workers are charged HK$3,980.

"We have absorbed half the cost and passed only the other half to our clients," Chan said.

Employers, on their part, have criticised the "poorly regulated" services of agencies and domestic helpers.

The Consumer Council said it received 319 complaints last year, up from 260 in 2011. Most concerned poor service and the maids' lack of knowledge about things they claimed to know.

The maids have their share of complaints, too. Domestic helper concern group United Filipinos in Hong Kong said, in papers submitted to Legco, that many workers were "paying the agencies both in the Philippines and Hong Kong a huge amount of money for placement".

Some were "forced to borrow money with big interest or mortgage their properties", it said.

New Employer Orientation

Arrow's new employer orientation will help you succeed in to getting off to a good start with your new worker. Mark it on your calendar now. (Cantonese with English translation) 

IF YOUR ELDERLY IS THE ONE WHO WILL STAY WITH / BE IN CHARGE OF THE HELPER IN FUTURE, PLEASE INVITE THEM TO COME TOO. YOU ARE ALSO WELCOME TO INVITE YOUR FRIENDS WHO ARE EMPLOYERS TO JOIN.

DATE: AUG 2, 1900-2130 OR AUG. 3, 2013,1530-1700 (ONE SESSION)

Arrow Employers, employers' spouse and parents - free of charge, 

Non-arrow employers- $150 per one person. 2 people: $200, 3 people: $250

Snacks provided

You will learn:

• How to improve workers' sense of belonging
• What are the common concerns of Filipino new arrivals
• How to supervise helpers' work.
• How to teach your helper to manage the grocery budget
• How to conduct evaluations: frequency, content, and precautions
• Salaries and holidays calculation and payment records
• How to understand Filipino culture
• New helpers common problems and treatment methods - such as: borrowing money, relationships with grandparents, mobile phone use, etc. 

You've invested a significant amount of money to hire a helper. Now invest one evening to learn how to establish a good long term relationship. Protect your investment.Register to attend now.

您將了解到：

• 如何提高工人的歸屬感
• 新來港的菲律賓人注要關心的問題
• 如何監督傭工的工作。
• 如何教導他們預算管理金錢
• 如何進行評估：頻率，內容和注意事項
• 薪金和假期的計算和支付記錄
• 如何理解菲律賓文化
• 新傭工的常見問題及處理方法 - 如：借錢，與僱主的父母相處，手機的使用等。

你投資多少錢，僱了個外傭。投資一個晚上，以了解如何建立良好的長期合作關係。保護您的投資。即時報名參加。

Six Communication Tricks That Will Get Your Kids to Cooperate

Shelly Phillips on Lifehacker.com

Found the following excellent article on lifehacker.com. Enjoy. 

As the parent of a preschooler, I often notice myself feeling frustrated and asking myself, “Why won’t she cooperate?!” If you have a young child at home, I know you understand. There are times when I’m tired or hungry or in a rush and I just want my daughter to do exactly as I say instantly without questioning, avoiding, or delaying.

What I’ve noticed is that as soon as I get attached to things going a certain way, my daughter has different ideas. I can understand why. Nobody likes to be forced to do anything. Not even young kids. Or maybe especially not young kids. I mean, toddlers and preschoolers are just developing their will and learning to act independently of us. So, of course they’re going to push back when we thrust our will upon them.

As a preschool teacher and now as a mom, I’ve discovered that there are certain things I can do that greatly increase the chances that kids will cooperate with me. Here are six secrets to getting kids to cooperate that have worked like a charm for me:

Invite, Don’t Demand

We all want our children to “ask nicely,” but the truth is, that’s easier said than done. My question is, where do you think they learned to be demanding and inflexible? Oh yeah, from us! If we want our kids to cooperate, then we’ve got to be the bigger, more mature ones andlead by example. Contrary to popular belief, asking nicely, inviting, and working together to find a solution to a problem doesn’t teach children to be more defiant or disobedient, instead, by doing these things you’re laying a foundation of trust and teamwork that your kids will soon learn to rely on.

Use this quick test to figure out whether your request is actually a demand. Ask yourself, “Would it be OK if they answered ‘no’ to this request?” If not, then you’re not actually inviting or asking, you’re demanding or requiring a specific behavior. That’s OK some of the time, especially if safety is an issue, but remember, the more demands you make on your kids, the less true, internally motivated cooperation you’re likely to get.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t have expectations of your children. It’s just that when those expectations aren’t met, it’s helpful to see that as an opportunity to problem solve together, rather than an excuse to punish them into submission.

Turn it Into a Game

Kids love to play. When you can make something fun, they’re far more likely to get on board. This does require some creativity and spontaneity on your part. When your child refuses to leave the park, can you find a way to make getting to the car more fun? Maybe you’ll pretend you’re firefighters and you have to jump into the firetruck to go put out the fire. Or perhaps you’ll race, or hop like a bunny, or offer a ride on your shoulders. Making things more fun isn’t just a great way to gain your child’s cooperation, it’s also a way to enjoy your time with them more. I mean, which would you prefer, a power struggle where you force your child kicking and screaming into his care seat or a fun game in which he climbs in willingly?

If you’re not sure what kind of a game will work best, tune in to your child’s interests. If she loves princesses, then you’ll be her knight in shining armor or her trusty steed. If he’s into trucks, you can ask if he wants to be fork-lifted into the car. Or maybe you’ve just read a story about a friendly fish, so try acting it out! If you just can’t seem to come up with an idea, ask your child what to play. Most kids are more than ready with a suggestion for a fun game or activity that you can alter slightly to fit your agenda.

Stop Repeating Yourself

This is a mistake we all make, especially when we’re not getting the results we want. Trust me that repeating yourself is the last thing you want to do if you’re trying to foster cooperation. Your child heard you the first time, and by repeating yourself, you’re simply training her to stop listening and wait for you to get frustrated before she acts.

Children are discovering all sorts of things about the world around them, including vast amounts of information about social/emotional dynamics. When they throw you off your game or induce you to get frustrated or upset, they’re gathering very interesting data about how to get what they want and what might cause you to reconsider your position. Don’t fall prey to their cunning.

When you can keep your cool and maintain clear boundaries, your kids will still test you, but after they’ve tested all their theories about how to get around your rule with no success, they will find other areas far more interesting and emotionally rich.

Be Forgetful

But what about when you’ve asked once and they’re not responding? Instead of asking again, take a different tack. Be forgetful and invite them to remind you what you said a moment ago. “Wait, I forget, didn’t I just ask you to do something? What was that? I think we were getting ready to go somewhere, but can you please remind me where?”

This allows the kids to be the smarter ones and if there’s one thing children love, it’s being smarter and more capable than adults.

Let Them Be In Charge

That’s why you’ll get a lot more cooperation when you allow them to be in charge. No need to constantly corral them, just put one child in charge of getting everyone ready and out the door and you’ll be surprised how quickly it will happen. This works especially well with my daughter when I underestimate her abilities and she gets to prove how smart and capable she is. “You don’t know how to do that all by yourself, do you?” And then when she has her shoes on and is climbing into her car seat, “Wow, you knew exactly what to do to get ready to go and you did know how to do it!”

Cooperate With Them

There are times when even the most cooperative child just needs some extra help. This could be because they’re tired, sick, hungry, or just feeling sad and disconnected. So if nothing else seems to work, offer to help. During times like this, we like to play a game in which my daughter pretends to be a baby and I have to do everything for her. After just a few moments of this game, she is far more willing to do what I’ve asked or help me with something. That’s because she knows that when she really needs some extra support, I’m there to willingly and happily provide her with the support she needs.

The power of affirmation

Every morning and evening I brush my teeth with my Oral B electric toothbrush from Braun. It comes with a timer that automatically starts when you turn the toothbrush on. If you brush your teeth for 2 minutes you are rewarded with a smiley face. If you brush for 2 minutes and 30 seconds you get a big grin. Almost every morning I am in a hurry to go to work and I am tempted to stop after 1 minute, but then I think "just 1 minute more" or "just 30 seconds more" or "just 10 seconds more" and I keep going. Why? Because of the stupid smiley face. If an electronic smiley face can help someone establish a good habit like brushing one's teeth well, think what could you accomplish with some intentional specific personal affirmation. 

Why don't you try this? For one week, notice something that your helper does well, then praise them for it. Be specific, be timely (do it promptly) and be personal. "Maria, the bathroom looks spotless. You even made sure we had fresh towels. Thank you." And don't forget to give her a smile. Do that systematically and see what happens. Leave a comment and let us know how it goes.

性教育,由家庭開始,由父母開始

林麗琼( 註冊護士、三女之母)

媽媽, 出生前,我在哪裏?

媽媽, 我是怎樣來到世界的?

媽媽, 為何我是男孩,不是女孩?

爸爸, 為何女仔坐着小便? 男仔站着小便?

媽媽, 為何你的胸咁大, 我的胸卻是平的? 媽媽, 為何男仔可不穿上衣,女仔卻不可以?

爸爸, 為何你的小鳥(陰莖)有毛,我的卻沒有?

作為父母的你, 是否也曾聽到兒女們問以上問題? 那時, 你如何回應? 敷衍了事? 責備孩子太多問題? 孩子的問題可曾令你感到尷尬、不懂如何回答?

其實, 孩子自小已對自己的身體、成人的身體、男女之異同、生命的起源等問題感到好奇。這些常遇到的問題都與「性」有關。每位家長都無可避免要面對「性教育」這課題。

「性」所涵蓋的層面非常廣闊，「性教育」不只是生理知識的傳授；同時也是一項十分重要的人格教育。性教育幫助孩子們擁有正確的性知識，協助他們認識及適應成長中的性生理或心理轉變所引起的困擾和顧慮，讓孩子更能接受自我和建立自信。性教育也讓大家學會有關人際關係、人與人相處之道，並培養尊重及愛護別人的能力。性教育協助人培養開明及負責任的性態度，不致做出傷害自己或他人的行為。

 曾聽說, 要有效推行性教育，必須在家長、學校及香港的教育制度和政策上各方面互相配合。但是, 家長作為孩子最早接觸、關係最親密、最信任的人；實應把握此優勢, 盡早向兒女開始性敎育。基督徒家長更是受上帝委託, 去養育、敎導孩子成為有上帝形象的人, 故有不可推卸的責任, 教育自己孩子正確的性知識,以免孩子日後被朋輩、雜誌、傳媒等灌輸似是而非的錯誤觀念。

從孩子初生開始, 家長們已可開始家庭性敎育,因為年幼的孩子對「性」沒有偏見和顧忌，更容易接受和性有關的概念。

1每當為孩子洗澡時, 可同時重覆敎他們認識身體由頭至腳不同部分,如: 頭、頸、身、胸部、肚子、手、腳等。

2當孩子可站著淋浴時,父母們可與孩子一邊共浴 (當然, 與孩子一起沐浴也可令孩子樂透)、一邊輕鬆地討論不同有關性的議題(孩子必然會問很多性問題)。與孩子「傾密計」可令孩子與父母關係更緊密。

幼兒性教育內容應包括：「認識身體」－認識男女身體及性器官、「男女特質」－明白男女各有所長，為上帝創造自己成為男孩/女孩而感恩，也學習尊重別人、「生命起源」－認識胎兒的成長與出生, 學會欣賞自己作為人, 乃上帝奇妙、精密的創造。另,也要敎孩子「保護身體」－了解自己的感覺及情緒，分辨好與壞的接觸，學習保護自己。

當然,父母應何時停止與異性子女共浴,沒有固定準則,孩子升小學,或青春期前停止也可。若孩子或父母其中一方感到尷尬,那便是適合時間改為母與女、父為子共浴了。

3敎孩子認識身體部分,特別是性器官時,應敎正確名稱,如陰莖、陰道口等。(反正孩子日後在通識科也要學, 讓孩子自小輕鬆地記下不更好嗎?)  

若想知更多有關於性敎育,登入家庭計劃指導會之性教育網頁 http://www.famplan.org.hk/sexedu。

怎樣評核你的僱員

很多人都希望聘用的外籍傭工最終能成為「家庭的一份子」；雖然我們都希望與她們有一個良好和密切的關係，但亦須謹記她們是僱員、我們是僱主。精薦每 星期都會與僱主溝通，以了解女傭的工作情況。大部分的僱主(包括我自己)都不會定期對女傭做「工作評核」，反而讓一些「不滿」慢慢累積，最後可能因一些小 事而「大發雷霆」。最佳的做法是擬一個定期的「報告時間」(在首兩個月宜每兩星期一次；之後則每月一次)。

定立一個「報告習慣」能保證：

• 你和你的女傭朝著同一目標前進
• 幫助她明白你對她的期望和分辨事情的輕重
• 成為溝通的平台

在你評核她之前你需要清楚知道：你希望能得到什麼？講清楚你的期望？告訴什麼重要優先？評價她的工作表現？鼓勵？聆聽？

我在網上(ehow.com)找到一些關於怎麼評核僱員的好貼士，以下是我的心得：

第一步：寫出簡單的工作要求

要確保女傭收到你給她的工作要求和明白她／他被評核的方面。寫出工作要求，方便在首次見面討論和有需要時作修改。若未及在第一次見面時給她，你仍可 說「不好意思，我之前太忙了，未及將這工作要求給你，我知道這對你並不公平，而現在希望你能更清楚知道我們的期望。真不好意思沒有在之前給你！」我建議你 的工作要求只有一張A4紙的長度。

有些僱主的要求很空泛，如「我希望屋企整齊清潔」。這並無不可，但請你說多一點你指的整齊清潔是什麼，讓她們知道你的標準。

有些僱主則管得極微細，會列出完成每項工作的15個步驟。無論你是「空泛」或「微細」，或是屬於兩者之間，都請確保你的傭工有能力(時間、支援、金錢等)去完成。他們負責工作，但你們更負責「好讓」ENABLE 他們有效地完成工作。

第二步：僱員自我評核

給僱員一張空白的表現評核表，請她給自己評分。而你提供的評核表應該反映出你認為事情的優先次序和價值。以下是簡單的例子：

給自己1-5的分數，5分為最高分，1分則最低：家居清潔其他:謹慎／細心 態度 溝通 洗車 照顧小朋友 洗衫 煮食  買餸

如果你認為「守時」重要，可列為其中一項。請預備適合你用的評核表，但記得保持簡單。讓僱員先自我評核，然後你可以同意或向她解釋你怎樣看她在這些範疇的表現。

第三步：找一個合適的時間和安靜的地點會面

可在星期六帶你的傭人到「大排檔」吃早餐，以友善和正面的態度談談她的工作表現。記住，你是想她做得到的！

第四步：給予足夠的時間

即使你或者不需要這麼久，但至少預算用一個小時。你已經用了不少時間和金錢請你的傭人從老家過來香港，從投資角度來看，用多一點時間作「報告」，能增加你和你傭人的生產力十倍！

第五步：定立清晰的目標

你希望透過這評核做到些什麼？你希望她的工作表現有進步嗎？給她新的工作期望？只是集中在一個範疇？聽取她的回應？

第六步：對話

避免有你講，無佢講。可以問她問題，讓她告訴你她的感受和需要。你可以問，「我可以怎樣幫助你做好這工作？」她們負責工作，但你則是「促使」她們工 作的人──提供支援和所需的時間，同時，你應確保他們有足夠的飲食和休息；精薦的傭主皆是「為僱員著想」的。若你能聆聽、關心和體諒，你的僱員會更用心工 作來使你喜悅。

第七步：幫助她們放鬆

盡量幫助你的僱員方放鬆(RELAX)，否則焦慮只會讓她聽不進你所說的。讓她知道你計劃定期有這「報告時間」，而這是雙方溝通的機會而不是「審核」；使她明白你的目的是要建立良好正面的溝通，來鞏固你的團隊和幫助她「成功」。

第八步：積極地開始，並且保持正面！

避免只聚焦在要改善的地方。每一個僱員都希望和需要得到稱讚，所以，你應以同樣的時間來表達欣賞和提醒她要改善的地方。這是留住好員工的方法！你的傭人離鄉別井來為你工作，若她努力工作卻只換來負面的批評，她大概會感到所賺的金錢並不足以彌補一切。

以我個人經驗所得，明白到「欣賞比金錢更重要」。僱員，所有的僱員，都希望得到別人的認同；他們甚至願意在薪酬較少但能被欣賞的地方工作，而不選擇在較高薪但常常被指罵的地方。你的傭人也不例外。你的正面回應比加 $1,000人工更重要。

所以，抽時間坐下來與你的傭人做一個「工作表現評估」。保持正面，定期檢討。如果你這方面做得好，你會免卻很多麻煩，增加你傭人工作的動力和快樂，而你整個家庭亦會從而得到更大的福氣。

HOW TO CONDUCT AN EMPLOYEE EVALUATION

   中文 

Many of us hope that our domestic helper will eventually become a "member of the family". Although we hope to have a good, close relationship with our helpers, it is also important to remember that they are employees and we are employers.  At Arrow we talk to employers every week. They give us feedback on how the helper is doing. Most employers (including me) do not regularly sit down with our employeesand do a "job assessment".  Instead, we allow little "irritants" to build up and finally "lose our temper" over some relatively minor offense. It would be much better if we set aside some regular feedback time (once every two weeks for the first two months; once a month after that). 

Establishing a "feedback habit" will ensure that    

• you and your helper are moving in the same direction,
• will help them to understand your goals and priorities, and
• will establish a regular forum for communication

Before you do an assessment you need to be clear: What do you hope to achieve?  Clarify expectations? Communicate your priorities? Give performance feedback? Encourage? Listen?                                

I did some homework (on the internet at ehow.com) and found some good tips on how to do an employee assessment.  Here is what I learned:                       

How to Conduct an Employee Evaluation 

Step  One : Write a simple job description
Be sure that your employee has been given a job description and knows what he or she is being evaluated against. Write a job description and use your first meeting to discuss and modify it as necessary. It is okay to say"I'm sorry I didn't give this to you when you first started working for us. I was too busy, and I know it wasn't fair to you, but now I want to let you know clearly what our expectations are. I apologize for not doing this earlier."  We suggest you keep your job description to one page only. Some employers are "big picture" kind of people who say "I want the house clean and tidy". That is okay, but please describe a bit more about what you mean by "clean and tidy", so they know the standards you are aiming at. Other employers tend to "micro-manage", and list 15 steps to complete each job.  Whether you are "big picture" , "micro-manager", or somewhere in between - make sure your DH has the resources (time, supplies, money) etc. to do what you are asking them to do. They are responsible for the work, but you are responsible to "enable" them to do the work in a timely way.                                                                                 

Step  Two: Employee Self-Evaluation
Give the employee a blank copy of the evaluation form and have  her evaluate/rate herself. You will need an evaluation form. The evaluation form should reflect your values and priorities. Here is a simple example: 

Rate yourself for 1-5, 5 being the highest and 1 the lowest:

• Housecleaning ______
• Marketing _______
• Cooking _______
• Laundry ________
• Childcare _______
• Carwash ________
• Communication________
• Attitude _______
• Carefulness/Thoughtfulness _______
• Other: ________

If punctuality is important to you, include it. Personalize the evaluation form, but keep it simple.  Allow the employee to "self evaluate" first, then you can agree or explain to them how you view their performance in these areas. 

Step  Three :  Set up a time and place to meet so that you'll have privacy and quiet. 
Take your helper out on a Saturday morning to a "dai pai dong", have some breakfast, and talk about her performance in a friendly and positive way. You want her to succeed!                                                

Step  Four: Leave adequate time. 
Set aside at least an hour, even though you might not need it.  You've spent the time and money to bring your helper from her home country to Hong Kong. By investing  a little more time for feedback, you will increase both your and your helpers productivity tenfold.                              

Step  Five: Have a clear goal 
What do you hope to achieve via this evaluation time? Do you want  to improve theemployee's performance? establish new performance expectations? focus on one specific area? receive feedback? 

Step  Six:  Dialogue. 
Avoid doing all of the talking. Ask questions and let the employee tell you how they feel and what they need.   You might want to ask, "What can I do to help you succeed at your job?"They are responsible for the work, but you are responsible to "enable" them to do the work by providing the supplies and time necessary. You are also responsible to make sure that they have adequate food and rest. Arrow employers have a reputation of "caring for their employees".  By listening, caring and accepting feedback, you will find that your employee will work much harder to please you.                                      

Step Seven:  Help them relax. 
Do your best to put the employee at ease, or anxiety will keep her from hearing what you say. Let them know that you plan to do this regularly, that this is a mutual feedback time and not a "judgment". Let them know that your goal is to establish good positive communication, increase your teamwork and to help them "succeed".                                

Step Eight: Start and stay POSITIVE.   
Avoid focusing only on areas that need improvement. Every employee wants and needs to be praised, so spend just as much, if not more, time describing what he or she is doing right. This is crucial to keeping a good employee around! Your helper has left her family and home country to come and serve you. If all they ever hear is negative feedback, they will probably decide that the money you are paying them is not worth it. 

In my limited experience as an employer, I have come to understand that "appreciation is more important that money." Employees, all employees, want to be appreciated and they would rather work in a low paying job where they are praised and appreciated than in a high paying one where they are regularly  criticized. Your DH is no different. Your positive feedback is more important to her than a $1000/month raise. 

Take time to sit down with your helper and do a "job performance evaluation". Stay positive. Do it regularly. If you do this well, you will avoid a build up of negative feelings, increase your worker's productivity and happiness, and your whole family will experience greater blessing as a result.

From Parenting.com 7 ways to bond with your baby

http://www.parenting.com/article/7-ways-to-bond-with-your-baby?src=twitter

The Hong Kong Family Race to the Top

by Cora Ha

You’re pregnant and people tell you that you better register your child in a kindergarten before all the spaces run out.  And before they can enter kindergarten at the age of three, your child better know how to speak, read and write in at least two languages, play an instrument and be good at least one sport.   Don’t forget the toilet training – no nappies allowed!

By the time your child hits primary school, the day looks something like this:  up at 6:30am, eating breakfast half asleep and on the school bus by 7:00, in school from 8:15-3:00 and then straight to math tutorials.  Following math is violin lessons and then home for a short 30 min break before sitting down to 1 hour of homework.  Thankfully, it’s dinner time for the child and the parents and everyone sits down to eat at 7:30 while watching TV, playing on an Ipad, and reading messages on the Blackberry.  Dinner is over and it’s time to really get down to business.  More homework and then violin practice.  Phew!  Done, just in time for bedtime stories at 10:00pm and ‘talking’ for relationship building at 10:30pm.  It’s lights out at 11pm. 

Exhausted, everyone falls into bed and the crazy race to the top starts all over again.  And that is not even during exam time!

Let’s throw into the mix an exhausted, confused helper who is being asked to do the job of 3 adults:  cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, chauffeuring (even if by public transport), and child-minding  - all this on less than 6 hours of sleep.

Could there be more to family life than this? 

Is more of everything really better?

Can you give your children the ‘edge’ by optimizing your children’s learning, and growing in other ways?

Here are four simple tips to help increase learning while decreasing stress:

1.     Sleep:  In his book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Marc Weissbluth, MD, provides these insightful comments on the functions of sleep:

"Sleep is the power source that keeps your mind alert and calm. Every night and at every nap, sleep recharges the brain's battery. Sleeping well increases brainpower just as weight lifting builds stronger muscles, because sleeping well increases your attention span and allows you to be physically relaxed and mentally alert at the same time. Then you are at your personal best."

2.     Open-ended, unstructured play:  Allowing children to play promotes active problem solving, creative thinking, and greater social-emotional stability.  These factors socially more balanced individuals whom studies show have increased capacities for higher learning in areas such as math and sciences down the road.

David Elkind, author of The Power of Play, writes: "Children's play – their inborn disposition for learning, curiosity, imagination, and fantasy – is being silenced in the high-tech, commercialized world we have created. Toys, about which children once spun elaborate personal fables, now engender little more than habits of passive consumerism. The spontaneous pickup games that once filled neighborhoods have largely been replaced by organized team sports and computer games."

3.     Relationship:  Studies show that children who have a healthy relationship and connection their parents and peers are more confident and generally have a greater chance of excelling in academic pursuits.  Cultivating “talk” around the dinner table takes a bit of practice but will yield great relational, emotional and academic rewards.

4.     Quiet time:  The amount of grey matter (for higher level processing) in the brain can be increased through having quiet time while thinking positive thoughts.  Recent U.C.L.A. studies (2012) are finding more evidence to prove that taking time out to “be still” is not only a nice luxury but also something that will enhance mental capacity and potentially physical health as well.​

Cora Ha is a Certified Parent Coach and Educator. A pioneer in parent coaching, Cora Ha is a firm believer in laying down a firm family foundation based on core values. In her sessions, she guides you to define your family’s core values, and helps you implement your own guiding principles to navigate the joys and perils of parenting. You can reach Cora at cora@coraha.com OR fill out our contact form using the subject "Cora" or "Cora Ha" and we'll have Cora contact you directly. Mention "Arrow" and receive a 30 minute telephone consultation absolutely free.  

Introducing Cora Ha

​Cora Ha is a parent coach, who would love to serve you and your family.  When you contact Cora mention "Arrow" and receive a discount on her coaching services. 

Cora has natural enthusiasm, intuition and an open heart that is passionate about walking with others on the parenting journey. This spirit, infectious and inspiring to friends and clients, led the way for her to become a highly effective mentor and role model to many here in Hong Kong.

A pioneer in parent coaching, Cora Ha is a firm believer in laying down a firm family foundation based on core values. In her sessions, she guides you to define your family’s core values, and helps you implement your own guiding principles to navigate the joys and perils of parenting.

Compassion, humor and candor are fundamental pillars in her life. Drawing from her own challenging experiences as a person raised in Canada, marrying into a more traditional Chinese family in Hong Kong, she is inspired to help others find their own delicate balance between idealism and practicality in interpersonal communications: between parent and child, between husband and wife and as a family.

Understanding and bridging generational and cultural gaps speaks to the needs of many families local and international alike.

Her ultimate cure for any ‘bad day’? The sound of her sons’ laughter. “You know…the contagious laugh that comes from the belly? That is the best release of tension and the cue to celebrate life!” she says with a hearty, “Ha! Ha! Ha!”

Prior to and in conjunction with coaching (hundreds of families), Ha has taught over two decades at international schools in Hong Kong, from toddlers in preschool to young adults in high school allowing her to gain rich experience with families from multi-cultural backgrounds and children from a wide range of age groups. She also worked as a children and family ministry director for over 5 years at an international, interdenominational church. Cora holds two degrees from the University of British Columbia and is a Professional Board Certified Life Coach. In her free time, Ha is cooking, catching up with friends or ‘chillaxing’ with her husband and sons.

You can reach Cora at cora@coraha.com OR fill out our contact form using the subject "Cora" or "Cora Ha" and we'll have Cora contact you directly. ​

Moratorium on sending helpers

A trade group of Philippine recruitment agencies ​known as SHARP have organized a moritorium on sending helpers to Hong Kong. (Arrow & its partner MRH are not part of SHARP) At issue is the Philippine government policy of "zero placement" fee. That means the Philippine government believes that HK employers should bear the full cost of deploying workers to HK. Because the cost of doing business in HK is high (salaries & rent) - you should expect to pay more than $10,000 to hire a helper. We could ask the helper's to pay part of the fee in Hong Kong, so that they wouldn't be in violation of Philippine laws, but the Hong Kong government says that agencies here can't receive more than 1/10 of one month's salary.  The only recourse seems to be to charge a ridiculously high fee to the employer. 

Historical note: the Philippine government passed the zero placement fee policy in 2007 AFTER HK implemented the 10% policy. They felt if HK only allows agents to receive 10% then we must do better than that - so ZERO PLACEMENT FEE POLICY.

How can this situation be resolved? Any ideas?​

Happy Companies make more $; what about happy families?

There is clear evidence now that companies who rate high in employee satisfaction and happiness are also more profitable.  Every year Fortune magazine publishes a list of the "100 Best Companies to Work For", and up until now people have treated it as "Well that's nice. So what?"  

In 2005 Jerome Dodson started an investment fund, Parnassus Funds, to invest in companies that rated high in the "100 Best Companies" list.  The results were mind-blowing:​

“To Dodson—and Moskowitz’s—delight, the Parnassus Workplace Fund proved immediately, enormously, and enduringly successful. Since the fund’s inception (April 2005-January 2013) it’s had a 9.63% annualized return. This compares to the S&P Index which has earned just 5.58% during the same period. “Our fund has had returns over 4% better than the S&P Index every year,” Dodson noted. “Eight years later, the performance of the fund confirms what I’ve always believed. Treating people well and authentically respecting them does lead to far better business performance. We proved it works.””

So how does this relate to domestic helpers?​ You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure this out. Employees who feel respected and valued, who are treated well - produce more. ​Employees who are constantly driven and treated poorly don't perform well. When the employees perform poorly the companies perform poorly.  If you want to have a highly efficient home, then focus on creating a happy work environment where people can develop their potential, enjoy a certain amount of freedom and where they will feel valued. Clear job expectations, adequate rest and food, a fair wage with opportunities to earn bonuses, and above all - appreciation and kindness - go a long way to ensuring that a workplace is a "best practices workplace". Clearly, it is in our self interest as employers to treat our employees well. 

For more on this topic read the article on fastcompany.com